Uncertainty

I began this entry with the intention of writing about the uncertain life that we all live and should accept.  The only thing that we need be certain of is that God is as real today as he was at creation, when He spoke to Abraham, and when He led Moses and the Israelites through the desert as a "pillar of smoke" by night and "cloud" by day.  If we truly believe God and have that fact burnt into our hearts with no wavering or waffling, then we should live each day in gracious uncertainty.  The material world will always be uncertain to us because it is ever changing. However, God is our Rock, He is immovable, He is unshakable, and He is undeniably Lord over our lives, every single detail of our lives.  And, that is why we should not fret at the uncertainties that bombard us each day.  Because God, being omniscient,  sees and understands both our world and His.  And, therefore, what perplexes us, makes perfect sense to God. 

And just like Moses and the Israelites, God will lead and guide us in our every day of uncertainty. The Israelites had no more idea what was going to happen to them than I know what will happen to me on December 18, 2009. Yet, they allowed themselves to be led by the "cloud" by day and the "pillar of smoke" by night. And just like God led them thousands of years ago, He also leads us today.  He doesn't just point in a particular direction and say, "Go there!"  He doesn't straggle behind us, letting us mope around in the dark, lost.  No!  He is out in front of us every single day!  And just because we are not in on the details of what will happen next, does not mean that we are lost.  I've always heard that God led the Israelites into the desert so that they would wander aimlessly.  Well, it was God's plan to have them wander. It was directed wandering.  It was a planned, coordinated, and purposeful period of aimless wandering.  What seemed mysterious, disjointed, and uncertain, was crystal clear to God, for He knew the design of His own plan and the results that His plan would produce.

I began writing this with the idea of moving into another topic.  So much for that idea.  At any rate, I would like to briefly incorporate something else I have been thinking about.  I, as most know by now, am in recovery from chemical dependency.  There have been some things that have happened over the last several days that have put doubt and uncertainty into my mind about the soundness of talking openly about my personal issues.  Although I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of "mind and body" and have no problems, personally, telling others of my struggle and how God has pulled me back from the gates of death, I sometimes feel that I should be more discrete.  Discrete, only because I still have goals going forward in this life. As for medicine, my history is public knowledge.  However, my openness could pose a problem if I wanted to get involved in other areas like politics or the medical business industry.   I was listening to NPR today, 'Talk of the Nation', and the show was discussing "social networks" as hiring tools.  Much advice was given and universally, the consensus was that you should not put things on their that could undermine your chances of getting hired for a job.  They also stated that a lot of Human Resource departments use social network sites like Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and the like to do their own background checks.  

Therefore, I became self conscious about my degree of openness out here on what I like to call the "Wild Wild Web."  Yet, God keeps harping into my ear, it's okay!  As long as you proclaim My name and seek My will, you will be okay.  And this goes back to my earlier discussion.   I should not let the perceived thoughts and perceived actions of men control me.  In fact, the position (hired, working position) I hold right now was the result of me being completely honest about all my dirty laundry.  It was the first time I had approached a potential job in that way, AND it worked!  Previously, I had danced around the issue.  I never lied, but my plan had always been to get the job offer first, then drop the bomb on them afterwards.  Well, that was the advice I received from the vast majority of acquaintances (well intentioned), including other recovering physicians, and it left me feeling awful and........ it universally failed.   

So, what is the moral of the story?  Well, what I think the moral is and what my experience shows is that honesty is ALWAYS, ALWAYS the best policy.  I had an attorney who once told me that it is not the act that really gets you into trouble, it's the cover-up after the act has been committed.  How true?  Dodging, half-truths, and outright denials of the truth create more harm than the original act.  Any suspicion or evidence of a cover up always brings about the wrath and anger of men and women of this world.  Yet, without fail, the people in history who when first approached about some misdeed, told the truth, ALWAYS fared better than the ones who deflected, hid, or denied the truth.  

In closing, I sometimes feel like the Psalmist.  And my guess is that we all do during certain times in our lives. In Psalm 31:1, it states, "In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness."  Psalm 31:11, 13 states, "Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends-those who see me on the street flee from me.  For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side."  However, I'm not so sure if these thoughts and feelings are true in nature.  In other words, I think the devil plays a big role getting us to think that people are "out to get us" or that our past misdeeds are being used against us at every turn.  To believe that, is to say that the love of God is not in too many peoples lives today. Yet, practically speaking, just as it is in life, there will always be a mix.  Sure, there will be some people who will use our past "against" us.  But I am just as equally certain that there are God fearing and forgiving people in this world who are just waiting for the opportunity to shower us with their grace and mercy. 

Yet, what man uses to destroy, defame, and slander, God uses to mold, strengthen, and purify into the most precious gem on earth!  Yes, man may use my history of addiction and all its attendant consequences in an attempt to destroy, defame, and slander, but God uses and has used my addiction and all its attendant consequences to make me into a "precious gem" and a surgical instrument for His kingdom!  And, He has and always will do the same for those who seek Him.  And, He will also do the same for you! Remember, both Moses and David were murderers.  The Bible is replete with examples of God using "broken" people to achieve the supernatural will of God. Thanks be to God!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

 

Light versus Dark, Part 2

So what is so great about light?  Well, it is a great disinfectant!  It readily kills germs and it will cleanse us too, once we develop enough willingness to place our "germs" out there to be disinfected. Once we tell someone else all our dirty little secrets, the power that those secrets once carried vanishes into thin air.  The yoke of oppression we carried around due to those secrets is and always will be heavier than the yoke of Jesus.  I hear this saying often, 'We are only as sick as our secrets.' How true! Our soul sickness is caused by a self imposed prison sentence.  We convict and condemn ourselves to a spiritual death when we hang on to these things.  Yet, we hang on to them because our pride cannot stomach the ridicule and shame that comes from their disclosure to someone other than ourselves.  Therefore, we can all agree that our pride, at least false pride, is out to kill us, not so much physically as spiritually.  And that's the worst death of all!  

Coming into the light (bringing our secrets to others attention) is painful.  Yet, light always comes at a cost.  In my house, I have to flick a switch that then opens up the circuit to let power flow to the light bulb so that it may shine.  The higher the watts, the higher the voltage used, and thus the more resistance involved.  So, in obtaining more light, we encounter more resistance which is equivalent to friction.  So the brighter the light, the greater the friction.  The pain and costs are higher depending on how bright you want to be.  How clean and free do you want to be?

The same is true for a candle.  You must first light the wick which results in a burning process. Burning suggests suffering.  Therefore, people like Martin Luther, Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards, and Calvin all endured suffering, and that suffering produced in them a light so bright they are talked and written about to this very day. On the contrary, there is very little cost to keeping things in the dark.  Yet, while keeping my sins a secret may protect me from harm in the material world, it will undoubtedly cause irreparable damage to us in the spiritual world.  

So, I find the following at work in all peoples lives.  There will be those who choose to live in the dark, i.e. keep their sins to themselves.  These folks do not suffer much in this world.  For example, they may not have had their story written up in the local newspaper about how they were arrested for driving drunk or lost their job due to public records documenting a problem with drugs and alcohol.  Yet, inside they are a dying a painful death marked by secrecy.  These folks gain on earth, but lose in the spiritual world.  Then there are those who have endured a public spectacle after having all their "dirty laundry" aired for everyone to see.  They will likely have "trouble in this world."  They may find it hard and difficult to obtain employment, friends (or those that seemed to be friends) may alienate them, and they may have to go through a time of exquisite loneliness.  Yet, what does Jesus say?  Take heart, I have overcome the world!  So, this last person may lose out in this world, but gain a life of eternal spirit that cannot be measured in human terms.  The most important question then becomes, which would you rather be?  Is it really worth gaining the whole world, only to lose your soul for all eternity in the process?

Light versus Dark, Part 1

The Bible and the spiritual world in general are replete with the concept of light and darkness.  Jesus is the "light of the world."  Before God's creation, darkness predominated.  Then God said, "Let there be light!"  Blindness implies darkness and it is mentioned over and over in the New Testament along with many accounts of Jesus restoring sight to the blind.  

I think it is quite understood that light represents goodness while darkness represents evil or badness. Before God's creation, darkness pervaded the depths of matter.  Out of this primordial ooze, God created light, and established goodness into His created world.  The fall, represented by Adam and Eve's disobedience of God fueled by pride in wanting to be on the same level as God, brought darkness or sin or evil back into God's created world.  The cosmos and the earth at one time were spotless without any defect.  In the creation story, after each day it is noted that God, "Saw that it was good. If it was all good in the beginning and Adam and Eve stained the goodness forever through their one act, then we are currently living in a dark world. Yet, Jesus came (the 2nd Adam) and gave us light. He became the light of the world and showed us the way into a life here on earth that is filled with goodness and righteousness.  

However, many of us today are just like the people of Jesus' day.  They expected him to overturn the oppressive local Jewish government that coordinated with the more oppressive imperial Rome.  They expected him to relieve them of all their suffering and bring about a Utopian existence.  Basically, they were sitting in their "Lazy Boys" reclining and waiting for the miracle that would change their lives for the better. However, Jesus did not operate like that then and still doesn't to this very day.  Jesus came and comes today to show us the way. He does not do the work for us, he points to the way. He redirects our journey from a path of destruction to a path of eternal life by nudging us backward toward a creation that was once all good.  Don't misunderstand me here.  Jesus is not passive and I'm not advocating that point.  Yet, we know that Jesus will never force us to follow him.  He never did with any of his original disciples and he will not today.  He asks us to follow and quickly moves on.  He lays out the requirements and continues to move on.  But he will never, ever beg or plead or argue.  He may weep at your decision not to follow, but he will not hound you incessantly.  Why?  Because Jesus knows, just as we all should, that we are "cut from the same cloth" as God.  We were created in God's image and we know the difference in good and bad.  If we had not been created in God's image, if we had not come from an original unblemished state, maybe Jesus would take more time to plead with us.  He would plead and argue because we would be completely ignorant, knowing only darkness.  Yet, we know better.  Jesus is the great illuminator, making the way so bright and obvious that we cannot find any excuse for not following.  Mostly, we do not follow out of pure laziness or a desire to hang on to some of the dark items in stock.  But it is never nor will it ever be, out of plain ignorance.  He, Jesus, makes that possible. 

Matthew 7:7

Are you asking of God, yet not receiving? Have you found what you are seeking for? And, have you knocked upon the door only to have it not open?

Well, if you are anything like I was prior to 2004, you may be asking and seeking the incorrect things and knocking upon doors that are not meant to open. What does this all mean? For me, prior to 2004, all I cared about was me. Really! I was eat up with self-centeredness and selfishness. The only time I would ask God for anything was when things were not going my way or I was in trouble. In fact, it is the number one thing that still beleaguers me and I must be on watch to avoid.

In Genesis, the story of Abraham includes a section where God asks him to take Isaac up the mountain and sacrifice him there. Of course, Abraham was upset and heartbroken. He and Sara had waited years, for the promise of God to come true. To have Sara bear a child in her old age in a barren womb. I really enjoy A.W. Tozer and in his book, The pursuit of God, it was first made clear to me what this story meant. Apparently, Abraham had received his gift, in the form of Isaac, but began spending too much time with the gift while neglecting the giver. Prior to Isaac, God reigned supreme in Abraham's life. Now, God was competing with Isaac for Abraham's time and devotion. As God was acutely aware of this, he asked Abraham to go up the mountain and sacrifice his son. Anyone who reads the Bible knows that God stops Abraham just before he kills him. So, what was the purpose? The purpose was to get Abraham rightly situated again with God first, and everything else second. The purpose was to test his obedience as well. It is the same in our lives. We must never worship the gift, only the giver. We have our priorities backward if we only yield to the giver to receive the gifts. Our eyes must be so focused on God that the gifts become an afterthought. Sure, they are great and God intends for us to enjoy them, or he would never give them. Yet, we must always keep them in line behind God in level of importance and we must never use God for the sole purpose of acquiring gifts.

This leads me back to the beginning and to answer some of those questions. What we get depends precisely upon what we ask for. Am I asking for great things to come to pass in my life? Am I seeking to be a great person? If so, we will be very disappointed and will continue to be discouraged in life. As long as I seek for self, the seeking will be fruitless and I will always be left with a feeling of emptiness. Always! How do I know? I did it for over 30 years and I "woke up" one day empty, lonely, and discouraged. I woke up this way despite the fact that I had become a physician and began to "acquire" things.

So, I will tell you what I do when it comes to the practical application of Matthew 7:7. I ask to know God and to have a relationship with him that is so personal, he is just as real to me spiritually as my daughter is to me physically. I only ask for others, and only for myself if it will lead to something positive for another person. With 100% certainty, when I ask solely for myself, the answer never comes and it never will to my satisfaction. Those types of "I" questions need to be posed to the adversary and I can assure you he will grant you all your earthly desires as he paves your way to an eternal life separated from God. God will never answer those types of questions. If he does, the answer will come in such a way to thwart what we are asking for in the first place. What and whom do I seek today? Well, I used to seek pleasure in the form of drugs and alcohol. I used to seek things that would satisfy my flesh. The important thing to know, at least from my experience, is that I usually received some degree of comfort, but it was very short lived, having no staying power whatsoever. And it was a hedonistic comfort, not an eternal comfort. Finally, what doors am I knocking on today? Well, I am not knocking on doors that lead only to self serving purposes. I knock on the door that provides the answer to the following question. What is God's will for me today? If I knock on that door, it will be opened and opened wide for me to enter. Otherwise, prepare to stand for a very long time at the threshold awaiting an answer.

Like Abraham, I was devastated when asked to give up some of the things I had worked so hard to obtain. Yet, it was necessary to put me into a right standing relationship with Him. And to Him, thanks be to God!

Doubt

I attended church today and was happy that we were given free reign to pull out our cell phones and "text" our responses to 2 questions the pastor asked of the audience.  The first question, and I am paraphrasing, was, "Do you believe the Bible to be the inspired and inerrant word of God?"  We were told that only a small fraction of Americans believe that to be the case.  However, the real time texting results revealed that over 80% of the church attendees believed that claim to be true. 

Yet, when we ask ourselves this question in private,  I wonder if that percentage would still hold true.  I  sent the pastor a comment to his blog post while in church because I don't have texting.  Someone asked me, "You have Internet access but no texting?"  I know, it makes no sense and that is a whole different story entirely, trust me!  Anyway, since I could not participate in the text voting, I did the second best thing.  I wrote to our pastor what my thoughts were.  The rest of this blog is an encapsulation of what I wrote to him.

I do believe the Bible to be the inspired and inerrant word of God, 100%.  However, during his sermon (while I was busy manipulating my cell phone), a passage from the Bible was offered up.  It was Isaiah 55: 8-9.  It says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I think the issue of the Bible and whether it is true or not comes down to this statement out of Isaiah.  Personally, I believe the Bible is written in a way by men inspired and possessed by the Holy Spirit, that only those who are equally inspired and possessed by the Holy Spirit can understand.  Our finite minds cannot completely see and grasp the full extent of the truth from an infinite God.  How can we understand God based solely on a human mind's perspective, using human rationale?  It cannot be done.  We must develop the mind of God and that requires developing a life based on the "spiritual" realm, not the worldly, physical, and material realm.

The second question was, "How many read the Bible on a consistent basis?"  The percentage was very low and his response was, 'how can you say that the Bible is 100% accurate when you're not even acquainted with it on an intimate level?'  What is and has happened to all of us is that we have come to rely heavily upon others for "our truth."  We put 100% faith in others to deliver us the goods and have 100% faith that the goods are 100% accurate.  We need to pick up our Bibles and start digging and investigating for ourselves.  We cannot have a personal relationship with God unless we personally do the work to establish that relationship.  

Finally, I will leave you with a controversial piece.  Our church's theme topic currently is on "Why?"  Why does the Bible matter?  Is it true?  Can we intelligently engage agnostics and atheists in debate?  I was given a  movie to watch by an acquaintance of mine.  He is a non-Christian.  However, he did not push it on me. I was interested in looking at it for myself.  One of the things our church has been talking about is reading the views of non-Christians and atheists.  This movie, "Zeitgeist", challenges Christianity at its core.  It compares Jesus to many other "prophets" or wise men from other religions (B.C) who were supposedly born on December 25th, born to a virgin, visited by 3 wise men, and were crucified and rose on the 3rd day. It then argues that the language in the Bible is astrologically symbolic.  The movie is long with only the beginning dedicated to debunking Christianity.  The rest deals with conspiracy theories on how the central bank and federal reserve control the US and have since its inception in 1913, enslaving Americans through its economic schemes.   

The following link will take you to Professor John Stackhouse's Blog where he provides an excellent critique to the movie, http://stackblog.wordpress.com/2008/06/13/zeitgeist-the-movie-the-new-chariots-of-the-gods/#more-148.  I obtained this link from Ravi Zacharias' ministry home page (http://www.rzim.org/USA/USFV/tabid/436/ArticleID/10172/CBModuleId/1561/Default.aspx) I believe we need not turn and run in fear of engaging people who oppose our views.  I do, however, believe that you must be strong in your faith to engage these arguments or you could easily be persuaded to "jump ship."  So, "work out your faith with fear and trembling" and stand firm in the knowledge of God and his ways.  Then and only then can we withstand the onslaught of many who come with creative and compelling arguments.  

Spiritual Pride

I don't know about you, but this is something I have to constantly keep at the forefront of my mind. I often say that whatever issue or problem I am facing, the answer usually comes in a very specific way. All that is required of me is to continue to be obedient and on the lookout for the answers.

For example, when I began writing this blog, I didn't know how or if or to whom I should be sending it. Especially when no one asked to have it sent to them. Personally, the one thing I detest most is unsolicited calls or knocks on my door from people trying to push a product. I thought to myself, 'These people have no interest in what you have to say' and 'they'll probably just delete it anyway.' I then had to ask myself several questions. Why am I writing this blog? What is its purpose? And, what kind of outcome do you expect from writing it?

Amazingly, or not so amazing if you see God at work in everything, I read something (very timely indeed) that went to the core of this issue. I will share some of it now. In Luke chapter 10, Jesus told his disciples, "Do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you." What? Well, Oswald Chambers believes, as I do, that worldliness and even sin (as one defines sin) are not the traps that most endanger Christians. He says, "The trap we fall into is extravagantly desiring spiritual success." Wow! What a smack in the face!

So, I then began to answer my own questions. Why am I writing this blog? I have been writing my thoughts on paper for over a year now. Yet, the writing that ends up on the paper is not from me. The reason I write is because I feel that I am moved to write by God. I always hated writing and still do for the most part. Yet, I can write with a passion about something I believe in. And the one thing with 100% certainty that I believe in today is God. He has carried me through the valley of the shadow of death. I also like to write about obesity and addiction because it is something I believe is very much interrelated. But, that's for another blog. So, I write this blog because I believe in God and feel moved by his Spirit to share his truth.

What is the purpose? The purpose of this blog is to point to God. Whatever I write is meant (or should be meant) to glorify him, not me. And, if anyone reading this believes that not to be the case, please point it out to me. I still need rebuking from time to time. I have always grappled with how to 'go out and make disciples.' We live in a very cynical, violent, and hurt world. And, my own fear has been that people would reject me! Did you get that last statement? Reject me! Well if it's all about God, then there should be no me in it in the first place. If I point to God and his truth, then there should be no fear of personal rejection. That fear is nothing more than pride and egoism in me. Like Rick Warren says in the first sentence of his book Purpose Driven Life, "It's not about me!" What a relief to know and truly accept that today. I'm just one among billions.

Finally, what kind of outcome do I expect from writing this blog? Chambers writes again, "One life totally devoted to God is of more value to Him than one hundred lives which have been simply been awakened by His Spirit." My intention is not to awaken anyone's spirit. Only God can save souls and stir spirits. I must remain a humble servant pointing to Him and let Him do all the work. I must decrease, so He can increase. When it becomes about any one person, then people are attracted to the person, not God. And that will result in real disappointment every single time. Trust me, don't go by anything I say or do because I am apt to disappoint you. Just ask my wife. Therefore, I don't feel like I'm coming to anyone like the salesperson I mentioned earlier. Why? Because the sales person has an agenda and its a me agenda. They point you to something alright, but it's to something that is fleeting, failing, and dying. And the product is sold to benefit the salesperson. I am trying to sell you something alright! I am trying to sell you on the God idea. When all else fails, God always is and remains and never forsakes. You don't need a warranty with this product and it is given, not sold, to benefit you. People tell me often that I must give back what has been freely given to me. Well, that is my intention.

C.S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others." He called it the Great Sin, and that sin is Pride or Self-Conceit.

Therefore, I pray that I not fall into spiritual pride and I will rely upon you all to advise me if I do.

Disappointments

I began a personal journey over 5 years ago after moving to Cleveland. My wife and I had decided upon a church and readily became friends with many of its parishioners. Yet, what initially drew us to this church was the pastor. He had this magnetic spiritual appeal mixed in with an, 'I'm just as broken as you are attitude.'

My wife and I became very attached to this pastor. I personally was yearning to know and receive God's help at that time because I had just began my own journey in battling chemical dependency. I was broken, frail, and spiritually immature. Unfortunately, the pastor and his family returned to California after only serving 18 months at our church. I was devastated and extremely disappointed. I remember the painful moment I approached him in the church parking lot after he announced his coming departure. I was a complete mess and approached him in a very emotional way. As I approached him, he quickly, with his characteristic smile, said that he had to run and was in a hurry. The sting was real and painful. I had expected more from him and felt cheated. Where was my shepherd?

There was no anger involved, just deep sadness. Yet, I had failed to see or evaluate the issues he had going on in his own life because I was blinded by my own. It was at this time that I began to view things in a completely different way. I had completely ignored the fact that although a pastor, he is just as susceptible, if not more so, to trials and tribulations as me and any other lay parishioner. The adversary is out to get all of us, but especially the ones that are attempting to spread the word of God. I had been selfish and not respectful of his own personal situation. All I knew at the time is that I was hurting and I needed help. I was looking for a savior and a shepherd, but ended up looking in the wrong place. This experience taught me that we, as parishioners, must be careful not to put too many expectations on our church leaders. It taught me that they are human too and experience the troubles of this troubled world.

Oswald Chambers writes, "A servant of God must stand so very much alone that he never realizes he is alone. In the early stages of the Christian life, disappointments will come- people who used to be lights will flicker out, and those who used to stand with us will turn away." How true that is, yet in getting to this point of realization, we will undoubtedly have to experience the sting associated with putting too much faith in any one human being. These experiences are necessary to guide us toward a total and complete dependence upon God, and God alone. Chambers continues, "When "important" individuals go away we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that only one thing is left for us to do- to look into the face of God for ourselves."

When the pastor of my church left, I was deeply saddened. Yet, it had to happen and it was meant to be. It was meant to be because God knew that I had been relying too heavily upon a person and not solely upon Him. That pastor was and still is a great man. He played a pivotal role in my personal Christian journey, transformation, and re-birth process. And to him, and people like him, may God continue to bless them in a way that brings millions more to Christ.

Freedom is NOW!

In the world we live, freedom is not a guarantee. In the United States, freedom has come at a cost, and usually a deadly cost through war and conflict.

However, in the spiritual realm, freedom is available, it's real, and it is powerful. Yet, too many of us are living our lives in a spiritually, emotionally,and psychologically self-imposed prison. We fail to see, because of our spiritual blindness, the level of freedom Jesus 0ffers us right now. There is no cost to us, except our willingness to be like a child and display a level of simpleness required to understand the ways of the Spirit.

The word simple used to conjure up negative feelings inside of me because, that must mean we are simple people with simple minds and simple ideas. And, that just won't do in this world of complexity, intellectualism, and individuality! However, I know today that response and view by me was the result of my pride and arrogance. I know today that you can still be intelligent and have a relationship with God and Jesus. I know from my own experience that you cannot combine intelligence with arrogance and false pride and expect a warm response by God.

I keep going back to Luke 19 and Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. I do, because the seed was planted by Andy Sikora, an associate pastor at Cuyahoga Valley Church during a sermon a couple of weeks ago. In that scene, Jesus rides into the city on a colt to fanfare and praise. However, Jesus weeps! Why? Because he, Jesus, knew that the people did not get the real meaning of his life and ministry. And, they were not going to get it before his crucifixion. "Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip?" This is what Jesus asked of his own disciple in John 14. If his own disciples were ignorant of who he was, then we must be careful to express spiritual pride in thinking we know him. Yet, we can know him through an attitude of unknowing. How? Through a childlike attitude that says the following, "Lord I yearn to know you, I thirst to know your ways every day, and that you will look favorably upon your wretched servant." The key is that we must never lose that passion and yearning to know Jesus, while at the same time admitting to ourselves we really don't know him. Because it's the ones who don't know that know and, well, the ones that know.......they really are clueless. This gets to the heart of humility and open-mindedness and honesty. In our natural lives we always put up a facade that gives an impression that is not congruent with what is really going on in our lives. We should be careful in doing that with God and Jesus because they already know.....they know us better than we know ourselves. We can act the saint in front of others, but we had better run home and cry out in utter ignorance that we know him completely.

Oswald Chambers writes the following in his book, 'My Utmost for His Highest.' "The mystery of God is not in what is going to be- it is now, though we look for it to be revealed in the future in some overwhelming, momentous event." This is why Jesus wept. We live our lives expecting some huge upheaval to take place that will liberate us from this sinful world. That is what the people of Jesus' day expected from him. Yet, God tells us that the freedom is here and it is now and it is not contingent upon Him doing miraculous things to be viewed in the natural world. The freedom comes when we become an empty vessel so that the Holy Spirit can take up shop. Freedom comes when we allow God the ability to perform miraculous things in the spiritual realm of our lives, miraculous things that can only be explained via the concept of numinous, not anything that can be detected by our physical senses.

He goes on to say, "We look for God to exhibit Himself to His children, but God only exhibits Himself in His children." There again, we must become childlike and display a level of simplicity that is a prerequisite for God to come in and give us the gift of the Spirit. And, we will be the last to know that we have become a spiritual person. That is the real acid test for whether or not you are spiritual! People will see it in you and define you as spiritual, not the other way around. We can never proclaim ourselves spiritual, for that precludes humility. And, humility is at the heart of spirituality.

May you all find the freedom that is available to you NOW!