Blind!

It would be a miraculous thing indeed if we were solely speaking of Jesus restoring someone's physical sight.  Yet, the power and meaningfulness of John 9 goes beyond that.  Why?  Well, let's think about it for one minute.  What does the act of a person restoring another persons physical sight accomplish?  How does that impact my life?  If I witnessed it myself, I would be awestruck and testify to that person's greatness.  But, Jesus came to inhabit earth for one purpose. Namely, to be a sacrifice for us and to show us how to be one with the Father as he is one with the Father. (John 17) He didn't come to be regarded as powerful, mystical, unique, or even great. I mean, we all know that was true of him then, true of him today, and will be true of him forevermore!  What I am driving at is that Jesus himself did not come with that mission.  He was absent any ego, profit motive, power, material gain, etc, etc. He came to serve, not to be served. He came to do the will of his Father, period!  

Therefore, how does John 9 apply to me and impact the way I live if it is only looked at as a physical healing?  Not much at all.  Therefore what meaning can be ascertained from John 9 that has eternal, significant, and personal meaning?  The answer is found at the end of John, 9:41,  "Jesus said (to the Pharisees), 'If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains."  See, Jesus was directing this comment at the Pharisees or Jewish scholars.  Jesus says in verse 39, 'For judgement I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.'  The blindness Jesus is speaking of is spiritual blindness.  In this story, Jesus is saying that those who have no personal knowledge of God and he (Jesus) are in effect blind.  They are groping around in life with no direction and no moral compass.  The Pharisees did have knowledge of God.  They possessed the best book (Bible or in their case Talmud) knowledge among all the people of the world. Yet, they had no personal knowledge of God.  Knowledge and knowing are two entirley different things. They had all the scholarly details down pat but they didn't know God.  Not like Job, 'my ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you. (Job 42:5)  Even here in Job, the word "eyes" is used to convey a real knowing of God, although he did not actually see God.  It is this same emphasis on sight that Jesus uses in a parabolic way to emphasize spiritual sight as knowing God.

We can possess all the Bible knowledge we want and quote scripture front to back.  Yet, the question remains.......do I really know God?  What do I do with all that knowledge of the Bible?  Do I try to impress my friends or use it as a symbol of righteousness?  The Pharisees did and look at their predicament throughout the New Testament.  Jesus took them to task.  We must take that knowledge and personalize the word of God to our everyday lives.  We must work out our salvation......daily.   The sight that has meaning to me is that when I look at my life and my circumstances and I read the Bible, I can see that God has been with me the entire time.........his gentle footprints slightly ahead of mine leading me through ALL of life.  And with that knowledge, developing a faith so strong that I need not worry or toil anymore.  The kingdom of God is when I can walk this earth each day muttering, "thy will be done, not mine" and be like the lillies of the field that do not labor or spin and like the birds of the air that do not sow or reap or store away in barns.  

What is Love?

When I think of the word "love", I think of warm and fuzzy feelings one has for a family member or wife or child.  Basically, love has always been associated with positive and uplifting feelings.

However, I have come to see over the years through God's word what love really means.  It always seems that when we pray for something like love and patience, God places people in our lives who are difficult to love and people who are demanding.  Yet, He says that "love is  patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.......Love never fails!"  (1 Corinthians 14:4-5, 8)

See, the first thing that I have to realize is that God loved me not because I was lovable.  He loved me because that is His nature!  Period!  If His love was contingent upon my personal traits and characteristics, He would have forsaken me long ago.  We are called to love one another just as God and His son Jesus loved us.  That is love with no conditions or strings attached.  Unconditional love.  

And once we grow in our spiritual lives, He will place unlovable people in our path who we will be expected to love in a Godly manner.  That is, we may not like the person or agree with what they say or do, but we must love them.  And the purpose of doing so?  To become as much like Jesus as possible in this life that we may be greeted by God upon our physical death with these words, "well done my good and faithful servant." (Mat 25:21)  We have to remember that "wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." (Mat 7:13)  If we hate, despise, ridicule, and gossip about those who are different than us, who get on our nerves, who continue on in sin...........then what are we doing any different than the majority of people in this world, the majority as Jesus tells us that are passing through the wide gate?  

I personally have to remember all the times that I have forsaken God, the times when I have done bad things, the times when I lived in the squalor of sin..............then it becomes easier for me to love the unlovable, just as God loved that unlovable me!  

Why are we so Forgetful?

When I ask this question, I think of my own personal experience.  How many times has God delivered me up out of horrid personal circumstances, for me to only turn my back on Him?  Yet, this is the story of mankind, isn't it?  We need only hearken back to those oft forgetful Israelites in the desert. The following is from Psalm 106: 12-15."

"Then they believed in his promises and sang his praise.  But they soon forgot what he had done and did not wait for his counsel.  In the desert they gave in to their craving; in the wasteland they put God to the test. So, he gave them what they asked for, but sent a wasting disease upon them."

God gives us free reign to choose Him or everything else our natural hearts desire.  We are even told that God will not force or fight with us over our allegiance.  'he gave them what they asked for.' Disobedience and turning away from God is the struggle we all face.  The 'things of this world' with all of their glimmer and attractiveness pull us away from God.  Yet, time and again these things that seem so beautiful, that seem so attractive, and that seem so filling, turn out to be ugly, unattractive, and completely void of any substance and leave us completely empty inside.  They cannot nor will they ever, completely fill that void, that "God sized"  void that from its name implies that only God can fill!  Disobedience leads to guilt, shame, and remorse.  Those three are a yoke too heavy and burdensome to carry around with us each and every day.  So, let us as take the yoke that Jesus offers us.  His burden is light.  It is a burden that comes from obedience to Him, but it pales in comparison to the "hell on earth" existence if we continue living a life enslaved to sin.  

And God will love and return His favor to you.  The following Psalm has become one of my favorites, Psalm 51:

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.  Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.  For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me." (1-3)

 

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." (10-12)

 

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (17)

God does not delight in sacrifice (as it is mentioned in the Old Testament) or take pleasure in burnt offerings.  When we come to know God intimately, our hearts and spirits are broken more severely when we disobey.  Yet, it is this disappointment in ourselves that we have failed 'Our Father' that pleases Him.  We will continue to fail in this life, we will never be completely be free from sin, but we will always be welcomed back with loving arms by our Father when he sees our broken spirit.  Therefore, never give up the fight!  We should expect sin to slither its way into our lives (for we all fall short of His glory), but we must never accept it in our hearts and become enslaved to it.  

Perseverance versus Endurance

There is a difference.  Endurance implies the ability to "hold on" to the end or completion.  Yet, perseverance implies the ability to "hold on" and succeed in the mission all at the same time. For example, I ran a marathon once and I endured the grueling 26.2 miles.  However, I finished in over 4 hours.  Others who had finished prior to me were probably already at home, showered, and relaxing reading a book.  Perseverance is defined by what we predetermine to be a success.  As my 1st marathon, I just wanted to finish the race.  Therefore, I both endured and persevered.  However, if I had wanted to finish in under 3 hours or come in 3rd place, I would have endured but not persevered.  Okay, enough of the confusing talk.  

My wife and I named our daughter Hannah.  We did so because like the Hannah in the Bible, we want her to be a "worshiper of God."  It means this because the biblical Hannah was barren (sound familiar) and could not have children.  Her husband had another wife and the other wife teased Hannah for her inability to bear children.  It says in 1 Samuel 1:10, "In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord."  Hannah was bitter, but not at God.  That, I believe, is the difference between Hannah and most of the people living today.  I know from my own experience that years before something "snapped", I would blame God when things were not going my way or when I found myself in an unfavorable or painful position.  Yet, we see here that Hannah prayed to God in the midst of her bitterness.  "As she kept on praying to the Lord........"[1 Sam 1:12]  Therefore, I know today that it is okay for me to be bitter or sad.  God does not require us to be any certain way emotionally.  Emotions are emotions, its the thoughts and actions behind those emotions that are of concern to God.   It is okay to be bitter or sad about our circumstances because we live in a fallen world.  Yet, it is this bitterness, loneliness, and sadness that should serve as a catalyst to turn toward God (in thought and action), not away from Him.  

Hannah "prayed without ceasing" [1 Thessa 5:17] and it was credited to her as righteousness.  Now that is what is stated in the Bible about Abraham, but I interpret the birth of Samuel as God crediting her with righteousness. Hannah had promised to give her child to God if God looked upon her with favor, and she did.  After she submitted Samuel to Eli to be a "child of God", God blessed her with 5 more children. [1 Sam 2:21]

So, Hannah persevered!  She knew what she wanted and she received it in God's time, not hers. She received because she asked God, seeked God, and knocked upon His holy door!  That is the key because when things do not happen in my time, I tend to give up and stop praying.  This is a great reminder to keep praying and you will be a winner in all things.  Your faithfulness will be credited to you as righteousness and you will receive blessings far beyond what your finite mind can even comprehend.  

Redeemer

Merriam Webster defines redeemer as: "to buy back, to get or win back, to free what distresses or harms, to release from blame or debt, to free from captivity by payment of a ransom."

The initial entry in Merriam Webster has Jesus listed as the reference point of "one who redeems."  Yet, how does this work?  How am I redeemed?  What am I being redeemed from? Do I simply verbalize my love for God and Jesus?  Is that enough?  We can find the answers in the book of Ruth.  

Ruth was a Moabite who had been married to one of Naomi's sons.  The story goes that Naomi and her husband and two sons went to live in Moab because of a famine in the land of Judah. While living in Judah, one of Naomi's sons married a Moab woman named Ruth.  Naomi's husband and two sons eventually die and she, Naomi, moves back to her homeland, Judah. The two daughters-in-law want to move with her, but Naomi pleads with them to go on with their lives and re-marry.  One of the daughters-in-law, Orpah, leaves.  The other, Ruth, refuses to go her "own way" and commits to life long loyalty to Naomi.  They move back to Judah where Ruth gleans the fields after the harvesters and a man named Boaz takes notice of her.  Boaz is known in the story as a kinsman-redeemer.  Once Boaz sees the loyalty and love Ruth has for Naomi, he sets out to "redeem" them by buying land Naomi has put up for sale. 

We see in this story how the love and commitment of one person resulted in redemption. Redemption from what?  Boaz redeemed Naomi and Ruth from distress.  When they moved back to Judah, Ruth had to glean the fields.  In the Old Testament, God provides instructions to the Israelites in regards to harvesting.  One of his provisions is that the harvesters shall not harvest every last shred of crop.  They must leave some behind for those less fortunate, poor, hungry, deprived, and oppressed.  The lesson is one in generosity and concern for others.  So, Ruth and Naomi came back to Judah widowers and found themselves in a dire situation. Therefore, Ruth gleaned the fields after the harvesters in order to provide them sustenance. Ruth found favor in Boaz's eyes and exclaimed, "Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me- a foreigner?" [Ruth 2:10] Boaz replied, "I've been told about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband-how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.  May the Lord repay you for what you have done." [Ruth 2:11]  

Okay, so how does all this relate to me- at this present moment in time?  Well, in the New Testament, Jesus made some bold statements regarding what is needed to follow him.  When Jesus made his first calling, Matthew says that, 'At once they left their nets and followed him' and  ' immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.' [Mat 4: 20, 22]  And famously Jesus retorts in Matthew 10: 37-39, 

"Anyone who loves his father and mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.  Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

What Ruth did was follow Jesus.  Her decision to follow Naomi, leave her mother and father, and forgo her own future with a new husband is as selfless as it gets.  She placed the concern of another ahead of any concern she had for herself.  And this is what is required!  To die to any right that we think we have to our own lives.  Not literally of course, but to die to my self centered view of the world.  I must look outward, not inward.  I must reach out to others, not constantly wallow in self pity over my circumstances or worry about "what could have been" or "will this or that be provided" or "I must do this to ensure that I get this or that."  Not at all! Jesus, in asking us to follow, is asking us to leave our comfort zone.  He asks us to care as much if not more for foreigners as we do about our own family.  What he is really trying to do is trample out any pride, selfishness or lasting vestiges of self preservation. This simple and beautiful story is relevant because it is real.  It is just as real today as it was then.  On the surface, it is a heart-warming story indeed.  However, it is a story that is in "real time" for us.  

Jesus is the redeemer, not was the redeemer.  He redeems today and tomorrow just as he redeemed yesterday. He, as the Merriam Webster definition states, "frees us from captivity by payment of a ransom."  I never knew that I was captive until I accepted my brokenness.  What held me captive for over 30 years?  Sin!  And I, you, and all human beings will not see that until we feel the pain of existence in this world and realize the futility of "the ways of this world" to such a degree that a threshold is reached that pushes us into the realm of the spirit.  Then, by the grace of God, when we turn our face to His, we receive what we have been looking for our whole lives...........a peace of mind, heart, and soul that borders on Utopia.  God makes it possible for us to achieve what we want.  The only catch is that we must arrive their by His means.  

The oppression of this world can be overcome.  When God sees, as Boaz did in Ruth, that we are living our lives for Him and not for ourselves, we become redeemed by Jesus.  And just like Ruth, we are redeemed by people who God chooses to work through. We begin receiving blessings.  That has been a mind blowing concept for me to understand and still is much of the time.  I have always thought that to receive blessings, I must take an active part in acquiring them.  Now, I see that all I have to do is "tend sheep" and they come, they just come without any self centered effort on my part!  In fact, the more personal effort I put into obtaining them, the less I receive.  Wow!  Now that is amazing.  Before I went through "the fire" of the last few years, I would have never "seen" the larger spiritual meaning of this story.  Today, I see it, seek it and I yearn for it.  Where I was once blind, I now see!  And, we can all have our spiritual vision restored, if we just make the decision to follow!

Am I okay with being unknown, Part 2.

After writing my last blog entry and re-reading it, I wanted to re-visit this topic.  I have a feeling that I may have offended some people.  Especially those who have felt the sting of "this life" through the senseless and untimely death of a loved one or someone that has been struck with a terminal illness.  I want to apologize if I offended anyone and tell you that I do not believe these types of situations to be God's will.  When I wrote it, I was thinking of my own personal situation and how I wallowed in self-pity for so long before I saw the greater picture and how God was orchestrating events in my life. The following is written by Marcus Borg, a progressive Christian and theologian out in Oregon,

"God Provides, Doesn't Protect

I believe that God is present everywhere, in everything - that the universe is shot through with the radiant presence of God. Thus we are always "in God," even as God is more than the universe.

But to say that God is everywhere and in everything does not mean that God is the cause, directly or indirectly, of everything that happens. To say the obvious, utterly horrible things happen in the world, and with great frequency. To imagine that these somehow fit into the long-term purposes of God is blasphemous. Rather, we are creatures who are able to act (as we often do) in ways contrary to God's purpose and dream.

And more: tragedies like the shootings and deaths at Virginia Tech indicate, in my judgment, that thinking of God as an interventionist is impossible as well as unhelpful. If God could have intervened to stop this (or the Holocaust, or 9/11, or the war in Iraq, or the individual tragedies that never make the news), but chose not to, what kind of sense does that make?

We live in a world still under the sway of "the powers" - powers in individual and collective lives that lead us away from God and God's passion for life on earth.

But in the midst of all this, there is a source of sustenance that can help us in the darkest night. The most concise expression of this that I have heard comes from the late William Sloane Coffin, who died a year ago this month. He said - and I am confident of his "gist," if not his exact words: "God provides maximum support, but minimal protection."

Does God as an interventionist protect us? No. Does God provide a means of support in the midst of our tragedies? Yes."

Am I okay with being unknown?

Today, I wanted to let Oswald Chambers do most of the talking through his May 1st entry in "My Utmost for His Highest."  -

Faith— Not Emotion

We walk by faith, not by sight —2 Corinthians 5:7

"For a while, we are fully aware of God’s concern for us. But then, when God begins to use us in His work, we begin to take on a pitiful look and talk only of our trials and difficulties. And all the while God is trying to make us do our work as hidden people who are not in the spotlight. None of us would be hidden spiritually if we could help it. Can we do our work when it seems that God has sealed up heaven? Some of us always want to be brightly illuminated saints with golden halos and with the continual glow of inspiration, and to have other saints of God dealing with us all the time. A self-assured saint is of no value to God. He is abnormal, unfit for daily life, and completely unlike God. We are here, not as immature angels, but as men and women, to do the work of this world. And we are to do it with an infinitely greater power to withstand the struggle because we have been born from above.

If we continually try to bring back those exceptional moments of inspiration, it is a sign that it is not God we want. We are becoming obsessed with the moments when God did come and speak with us, and we are insisting that He do it again. But what God wants us to do is to "walk by faith." How many of us have set ourselves aside as if to say, "I cannot do anything else until God appears to me"? He will never do it. We will have to get up on our own, without any inspiration and without any sudden touch from God. Then comes our surprise and we find ourselves exclaiming, "Why, He was there all the time, and I never knew it!" Never live for those exceptional moments— they are surprises. God will give us His touches of inspiration only when He sees that we are not in danger of being led away by them. We must never consider our moments of inspiration as the standard way of life— our work is our standard." 

This is very true for me.  I must always be very critical of myself personally and my motives.  I am very addicted to emotions and I always want the emotion of happiness and elatedness.  If they are not present, then I am bored.  I think that I must always have the inspiration of God at my back.  However, it will never happen that way and it is a sure sign of immaturity on my part to demand it.  It is a sure sign, as Chambers aptly noted, that I am seeking something other than God himself.  And what usually brings those emotions of inspiration?  They usually occur when something good happens in my life.  That is goodness based on my definition of goodness.  It is good for me to be rich.  It is good for me to be healthy.  It is good for me to be famous and well known.  It is good for me to obtain and maintain a job.  It is good for my stocks to rise because the Dow soars.  It is good for me to have a wife and several children.  And yet, when my job is lost, family is lost, riches usurped, and health in jeopardy, I somehow think this is not God's will for me because it makes me feel bad.  And if it makes me feel bad, then it is surely not good.  

No!  If we believe in an all powerful, controlling, and knowing God, then we must be prepared to reconcile our "current situation" with the fact that it is God's will.   We usually try to garner sympathy from others by pointing to how well we have been living. But, if we honestly critique our lives, we will see that what is happening to us is just what is needed to bring us into alignment with God's way.  We may not like it, but we most assuredly will have to agree that what is happening in our lives is for the greater good.  Paul writes in Romans 8:28, "And we know that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  ALL THINGS means ALL THINGS.  That means through birth, death, health, sickness, marriage, divorce, job, no job, riches, and poor, God works for the good!  Yet, we continue to balk at this truth.  When we do so, we usurp God's omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence!  And that makes God a very little God indeed.  Do we really want a small God whose hands are tied behind his back at times? This is why walking by faith and not our mortal, limited, and finite sight is crucial, so very crucial in growing an authentic relationship with God.  May His peace be with you!

Controversy!

I was thinking today about what to write and I realized that I have a desire to be controversial.  Is there anything wrong with Christians being controversial?  Not if you're trying to imitate Christ! I read a book not long ago titled, The Imitation of Christ.  It's not on a recent best seller list because it was written in 1418 by a Dutch monk by the name of Thomas a Kempis.  It is considered one of the most widely read devotions to Christianity.  It is a product of the German-Dutch school of mystical thought.  Now before anyone gets too spooked, mysticism was and is the earliest form of pure Christianity.  It came before Catholicism, before the Reformation and all the different "religions" and before all the various ideologies and man made doctrines.   I realize the word mystical somehow brings up thoughts of magic, but that is not the intended meaning of mysticism as it relates to 1st and 2nd century ascetics.  These folks were so devoted to God and Jesus that they spent their whole lives in the desert "communing" with God.  

So, back to the original question.  Is it "wrong" to be controversial in Christianity.  It is if you are being controversial over matters that are not based in spiritual truth.  For example, attempting to make Jesus gender neutral.  However, Jesus was a "lightning rod" during his ministry.  He was provocative, controversial, and progressive.  He made many enemies by claiming to "forgive sins" and grew to be hated by the scholars and scribes of the Hebrew Bible so much that they carried out his murder and crucifixion.  Yet, we are called to "be like Christ."  What does that look like?  Well, if history is a good guide, we are supposed to be just as controversial as Jesus was.  We should be proclaiming truth no matter the consequences.  Even to the point of being hated and ridiculed by the biblical scholars of today.   Yet, we must be very careful here or we can become self-righteous and bent on pointing fingers for the sake of taking the focus off of us.  If we are to be controversial, we had better have our "own house" in order.  We had better be trying to live just as Christ lived, all the while knowing that we will never reach that level of perfection.  That means that we must rise on bended knee, walk with humility all day long, and retire on bended knee.  

However, it is a charge that has been left for us by Jesus.  He makes it clear through the "Great Commission" that we go out into the world and make disciples, just as he did.  When we accept things passively from those who have been trained in religious and biblical matters, then we are being lazy and placing too much authority in man and not enough authority in God.  We only need to remember who Jesus was "fighting" against during his ministry to reach this conclusion. John the Baptist called the Pharisees and scribes "broods of vipers."  Jesus called them "hypocrites."  So, we too, must at the very least take the direction that has been given us by pastors, preachers, priests, and the like and verify it through our own study of scripture.  I say all of this not to create an adversarial mind set toward your pastors or church leaders.  No!  Not at all. I say this because we are all human, pastor or not, and all humans sin, every single one of us.  No man is perfect, so we must go to the Author and Perfecter of Life in order to obtain truth when things are unclear.  Pastors and church leaders are our guides.  They point to "the way" and it is up to us to walk in "the way."  Even some of the greatest climbers need guides because the guides know the terrain.  However, that doesn't mean that the climber not train and do his own homework.  Just the same, we need spiritual church leaders to guide and direct us because they are familiar with the terrain.  Yet, we need to do our homework too!  

In closing, I will cite one personal example.  I am in the process of reading Joel Osteen's, "A Better You" and I am doing so not because I am a fan of his style and teaching.  I am doing so because I need to know what is so captivating in his message that millions of people flock to buy his books and to hear his message in his mega-church in Houston.  The title alone is something to think about.  I know that when someone plays upon my ego by using words like "you" and "me", it makes me feel good.  Yet, the resounding message over and over in the Bible is about taking care of "His sheep" and He will give you rest.  Biblically speaking, we are to decrease so that He may increase. I am charged with "making disciples" and being "the least of thee."  Jesus washed the feet of His disciples and they did not understand the act.  They were too busy jockeying for position to be at "His Right Hand."  They thought in "I" and "me" terms and Jesus thought in "you" and "we" terms.  The prosperity movement within evangelical circles has rightly been challenged by some of the leading Christian thinkers of today like Rick Warren and John Piper.  It is one area where "truth" has not been the guiding force behind the message.  True prosperity is a spiritual prosperity in which the peace of God flows in and through you during times of plenty and want.  True prosperity is when I have reached such a humble state that my own rights, wants, and needs are an afterthought.  

Uncertainty

I began this entry with the intention of writing about the uncertain life that we all live and should accept.  The only thing that we need be certain of is that God is as real today as he was at creation, when He spoke to Abraham, and when He led Moses and the Israelites through the desert as a "pillar of smoke" by night and "cloud" by day.  If we truly believe God and have that fact burnt into our hearts with no wavering or waffling, then we should live each day in gracious uncertainty.  The material world will always be uncertain to us because it is ever changing. However, God is our Rock, He is immovable, He is unshakable, and He is undeniably Lord over our lives, every single detail of our lives.  And, that is why we should not fret at the uncertainties that bombard us each day.  Because God, being omniscient,  sees and understands both our world and His.  And, therefore, what perplexes us, makes perfect sense to God. 

And just like Moses and the Israelites, God will lead and guide us in our every day of uncertainty. The Israelites had no more idea what was going to happen to them than I know what will happen to me on December 18, 2009. Yet, they allowed themselves to be led by the "cloud" by day and the "pillar of smoke" by night. And just like God led them thousands of years ago, He also leads us today.  He doesn't just point in a particular direction and say, "Go there!"  He doesn't straggle behind us, letting us mope around in the dark, lost.  No!  He is out in front of us every single day!  And just because we are not in on the details of what will happen next, does not mean that we are lost.  I've always heard that God led the Israelites into the desert so that they would wander aimlessly.  Well, it was God's plan to have them wander. It was directed wandering.  It was a planned, coordinated, and purposeful period of aimless wandering.  What seemed mysterious, disjointed, and uncertain, was crystal clear to God, for He knew the design of His own plan and the results that His plan would produce.

I began writing this with the idea of moving into another topic.  So much for that idea.  At any rate, I would like to briefly incorporate something else I have been thinking about.  I, as most know by now, am in recovery from chemical dependency.  There have been some things that have happened over the last several days that have put doubt and uncertainty into my mind about the soundness of talking openly about my personal issues.  Although I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of "mind and body" and have no problems, personally, telling others of my struggle and how God has pulled me back from the gates of death, I sometimes feel that I should be more discrete.  Discrete, only because I still have goals going forward in this life. As for medicine, my history is public knowledge.  However, my openness could pose a problem if I wanted to get involved in other areas like politics or the medical business industry.   I was listening to NPR today, 'Talk of the Nation', and the show was discussing "social networks" as hiring tools.  Much advice was given and universally, the consensus was that you should not put things on their that could undermine your chances of getting hired for a job.  They also stated that a lot of Human Resource departments use social network sites like Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and the like to do their own background checks.  

Therefore, I became self conscious about my degree of openness out here on what I like to call the "Wild Wild Web."  Yet, God keeps harping into my ear, it's okay!  As long as you proclaim My name and seek My will, you will be okay.  And this goes back to my earlier discussion.   I should not let the perceived thoughts and perceived actions of men control me.  In fact, the position (hired, working position) I hold right now was the result of me being completely honest about all my dirty laundry.  It was the first time I had approached a potential job in that way, AND it worked!  Previously, I had danced around the issue.  I never lied, but my plan had always been to get the job offer first, then drop the bomb on them afterwards.  Well, that was the advice I received from the vast majority of acquaintances (well intentioned), including other recovering physicians, and it left me feeling awful and........ it universally failed.   

So, what is the moral of the story?  Well, what I think the moral is and what my experience shows is that honesty is ALWAYS, ALWAYS the best policy.  I had an attorney who once told me that it is not the act that really gets you into trouble, it's the cover-up after the act has been committed.  How true?  Dodging, half-truths, and outright denials of the truth create more harm than the original act.  Any suspicion or evidence of a cover up always brings about the wrath and anger of men and women of this world.  Yet, without fail, the people in history who when first approached about some misdeed, told the truth, ALWAYS fared better than the ones who deflected, hid, or denied the truth.  

In closing, I sometimes feel like the Psalmist.  And my guess is that we all do during certain times in our lives. In Psalm 31:1, it states, "In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness."  Psalm 31:11, 13 states, "Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends-those who see me on the street flee from me.  For I hear the slander of many; there is terror on every side."  However, I'm not so sure if these thoughts and feelings are true in nature.  In other words, I think the devil plays a big role getting us to think that people are "out to get us" or that our past misdeeds are being used against us at every turn.  To believe that, is to say that the love of God is not in too many peoples lives today. Yet, practically speaking, just as it is in life, there will always be a mix.  Sure, there will be some people who will use our past "against" us.  But I am just as equally certain that there are God fearing and forgiving people in this world who are just waiting for the opportunity to shower us with their grace and mercy. 

Yet, what man uses to destroy, defame, and slander, God uses to mold, strengthen, and purify into the most precious gem on earth!  Yes, man may use my history of addiction and all its attendant consequences in an attempt to destroy, defame, and slander, but God uses and has used my addiction and all its attendant consequences to make me into a "precious gem" and a surgical instrument for His kingdom!  And, He has and always will do the same for those who seek Him.  And, He will also do the same for you! Remember, both Moses and David were murderers.  The Bible is replete with examples of God using "broken" people to achieve the supernatural will of God. Thanks be to God!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

 

Light versus Dark, Part 2

So what is so great about light?  Well, it is a great disinfectant!  It readily kills germs and it will cleanse us too, once we develop enough willingness to place our "germs" out there to be disinfected. Once we tell someone else all our dirty little secrets, the power that those secrets once carried vanishes into thin air.  The yoke of oppression we carried around due to those secrets is and always will be heavier than the yoke of Jesus.  I hear this saying often, 'We are only as sick as our secrets.' How true! Our soul sickness is caused by a self imposed prison sentence.  We convict and condemn ourselves to a spiritual death when we hang on to these things.  Yet, we hang on to them because our pride cannot stomach the ridicule and shame that comes from their disclosure to someone other than ourselves.  Therefore, we can all agree that our pride, at least false pride, is out to kill us, not so much physically as spiritually.  And that's the worst death of all!  

Coming into the light (bringing our secrets to others attention) is painful.  Yet, light always comes at a cost.  In my house, I have to flick a switch that then opens up the circuit to let power flow to the light bulb so that it may shine.  The higher the watts, the higher the voltage used, and thus the more resistance involved.  So, in obtaining more light, we encounter more resistance which is equivalent to friction.  So the brighter the light, the greater the friction.  The pain and costs are higher depending on how bright you want to be.  How clean and free do you want to be?

The same is true for a candle.  You must first light the wick which results in a burning process. Burning suggests suffering.  Therefore, people like Martin Luther, Bunyan, Jonathan Edwards, and Calvin all endured suffering, and that suffering produced in them a light so bright they are talked and written about to this very day. On the contrary, there is very little cost to keeping things in the dark.  Yet, while keeping my sins a secret may protect me from harm in the material world, it will undoubtedly cause irreparable damage to us in the spiritual world.  

So, I find the following at work in all peoples lives.  There will be those who choose to live in the dark, i.e. keep their sins to themselves.  These folks do not suffer much in this world.  For example, they may not have had their story written up in the local newspaper about how they were arrested for driving drunk or lost their job due to public records documenting a problem with drugs and alcohol.  Yet, inside they are a dying a painful death marked by secrecy.  These folks gain on earth, but lose in the spiritual world.  Then there are those who have endured a public spectacle after having all their "dirty laundry" aired for everyone to see.  They will likely have "trouble in this world."  They may find it hard and difficult to obtain employment, friends (or those that seemed to be friends) may alienate them, and they may have to go through a time of exquisite loneliness.  Yet, what does Jesus say?  Take heart, I have overcome the world!  So, this last person may lose out in this world, but gain a life of eternal spirit that cannot be measured in human terms.  The most important question then becomes, which would you rather be?  Is it really worth gaining the whole world, only to lose your soul for all eternity in the process?

Light versus Dark, Part 1

The Bible and the spiritual world in general are replete with the concept of light and darkness.  Jesus is the "light of the world."  Before God's creation, darkness predominated.  Then God said, "Let there be light!"  Blindness implies darkness and it is mentioned over and over in the New Testament along with many accounts of Jesus restoring sight to the blind.  

I think it is quite understood that light represents goodness while darkness represents evil or badness. Before God's creation, darkness pervaded the depths of matter.  Out of this primordial ooze, God created light, and established goodness into His created world.  The fall, represented by Adam and Eve's disobedience of God fueled by pride in wanting to be on the same level as God, brought darkness or sin or evil back into God's created world.  The cosmos and the earth at one time were spotless without any defect.  In the creation story, after each day it is noted that God, "Saw that it was good. If it was all good in the beginning and Adam and Eve stained the goodness forever through their one act, then we are currently living in a dark world. Yet, Jesus came (the 2nd Adam) and gave us light. He became the light of the world and showed us the way into a life here on earth that is filled with goodness and righteousness.  

However, many of us today are just like the people of Jesus' day.  They expected him to overturn the oppressive local Jewish government that coordinated with the more oppressive imperial Rome.  They expected him to relieve them of all their suffering and bring about a Utopian existence.  Basically, they were sitting in their "Lazy Boys" reclining and waiting for the miracle that would change their lives for the better. However, Jesus did not operate like that then and still doesn't to this very day.  Jesus came and comes today to show us the way. He does not do the work for us, he points to the way. He redirects our journey from a path of destruction to a path of eternal life by nudging us backward toward a creation that was once all good.  Don't misunderstand me here.  Jesus is not passive and I'm not advocating that point.  Yet, we know that Jesus will never force us to follow him.  He never did with any of his original disciples and he will not today.  He asks us to follow and quickly moves on.  He lays out the requirements and continues to move on.  But he will never, ever beg or plead or argue.  He may weep at your decision not to follow, but he will not hound you incessantly.  Why?  Because Jesus knows, just as we all should, that we are "cut from the same cloth" as God.  We were created in God's image and we know the difference in good and bad.  If we had not been created in God's image, if we had not come from an original unblemished state, maybe Jesus would take more time to plead with us.  He would plead and argue because we would be completely ignorant, knowing only darkness.  Yet, we know better.  Jesus is the great illuminator, making the way so bright and obvious that we cannot find any excuse for not following.  Mostly, we do not follow out of pure laziness or a desire to hang on to some of the dark items in stock.  But it is never nor will it ever be, out of plain ignorance.  He, Jesus, makes that possible. 

Matthew 7:7

Are you asking of God, yet not receiving? Have you found what you are seeking for? And, have you knocked upon the door only to have it not open?

Well, if you are anything like I was prior to 2004, you may be asking and seeking the incorrect things and knocking upon doors that are not meant to open. What does this all mean? For me, prior to 2004, all I cared about was me. Really! I was eat up with self-centeredness and selfishness. The only time I would ask God for anything was when things were not going my way or I was in trouble. In fact, it is the number one thing that still beleaguers me and I must be on watch to avoid.

In Genesis, the story of Abraham includes a section where God asks him to take Isaac up the mountain and sacrifice him there. Of course, Abraham was upset and heartbroken. He and Sara had waited years, for the promise of God to come true. To have Sara bear a child in her old age in a barren womb. I really enjoy A.W. Tozer and in his book, The pursuit of God, it was first made clear to me what this story meant. Apparently, Abraham had received his gift, in the form of Isaac, but began spending too much time with the gift while neglecting the giver. Prior to Isaac, God reigned supreme in Abraham's life. Now, God was competing with Isaac for Abraham's time and devotion. As God was acutely aware of this, he asked Abraham to go up the mountain and sacrifice his son. Anyone who reads the Bible knows that God stops Abraham just before he kills him. So, what was the purpose? The purpose was to get Abraham rightly situated again with God first, and everything else second. The purpose was to test his obedience as well. It is the same in our lives. We must never worship the gift, only the giver. We have our priorities backward if we only yield to the giver to receive the gifts. Our eyes must be so focused on God that the gifts become an afterthought. Sure, they are great and God intends for us to enjoy them, or he would never give them. Yet, we must always keep them in line behind God in level of importance and we must never use God for the sole purpose of acquiring gifts.

This leads me back to the beginning and to answer some of those questions. What we get depends precisely upon what we ask for. Am I asking for great things to come to pass in my life? Am I seeking to be a great person? If so, we will be very disappointed and will continue to be discouraged in life. As long as I seek for self, the seeking will be fruitless and I will always be left with a feeling of emptiness. Always! How do I know? I did it for over 30 years and I "woke up" one day empty, lonely, and discouraged. I woke up this way despite the fact that I had become a physician and began to "acquire" things.

So, I will tell you what I do when it comes to the practical application of Matthew 7:7. I ask to know God and to have a relationship with him that is so personal, he is just as real to me spiritually as my daughter is to me physically. I only ask for others, and only for myself if it will lead to something positive for another person. With 100% certainty, when I ask solely for myself, the answer never comes and it never will to my satisfaction. Those types of "I" questions need to be posed to the adversary and I can assure you he will grant you all your earthly desires as he paves your way to an eternal life separated from God. God will never answer those types of questions. If he does, the answer will come in such a way to thwart what we are asking for in the first place. What and whom do I seek today? Well, I used to seek pleasure in the form of drugs and alcohol. I used to seek things that would satisfy my flesh. The important thing to know, at least from my experience, is that I usually received some degree of comfort, but it was very short lived, having no staying power whatsoever. And it was a hedonistic comfort, not an eternal comfort. Finally, what doors am I knocking on today? Well, I am not knocking on doors that lead only to self serving purposes. I knock on the door that provides the answer to the following question. What is God's will for me today? If I knock on that door, it will be opened and opened wide for me to enter. Otherwise, prepare to stand for a very long time at the threshold awaiting an answer.

Like Abraham, I was devastated when asked to give up some of the things I had worked so hard to obtain. Yet, it was necessary to put me into a right standing relationship with Him. And to Him, thanks be to God!

Doubt

I attended church today and was happy that we were given free reign to pull out our cell phones and "text" our responses to 2 questions the pastor asked of the audience.  The first question, and I am paraphrasing, was, "Do you believe the Bible to be the inspired and inerrant word of God?"  We were told that only a small fraction of Americans believe that to be the case.  However, the real time texting results revealed that over 80% of the church attendees believed that claim to be true. 

Yet, when we ask ourselves this question in private,  I wonder if that percentage would still hold true.  I  sent the pastor a comment to his blog post while in church because I don't have texting.  Someone asked me, "You have Internet access but no texting?"  I know, it makes no sense and that is a whole different story entirely, trust me!  Anyway, since I could not participate in the text voting, I did the second best thing.  I wrote to our pastor what my thoughts were.  The rest of this blog is an encapsulation of what I wrote to him.

I do believe the Bible to be the inspired and inerrant word of God, 100%.  However, during his sermon (while I was busy manipulating my cell phone), a passage from the Bible was offered up.  It was Isaiah 55: 8-9.  It says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I think the issue of the Bible and whether it is true or not comes down to this statement out of Isaiah.  Personally, I believe the Bible is written in a way by men inspired and possessed by the Holy Spirit, that only those who are equally inspired and possessed by the Holy Spirit can understand.  Our finite minds cannot completely see and grasp the full extent of the truth from an infinite God.  How can we understand God based solely on a human mind's perspective, using human rationale?  It cannot be done.  We must develop the mind of God and that requires developing a life based on the "spiritual" realm, not the worldly, physical, and material realm.

The second question was, "How many read the Bible on a consistent basis?"  The percentage was very low and his response was, 'how can you say that the Bible is 100% accurate when you're not even acquainted with it on an intimate level?'  What is and has happened to all of us is that we have come to rely heavily upon others for "our truth."  We put 100% faith in others to deliver us the goods and have 100% faith that the goods are 100% accurate.  We need to pick up our Bibles and start digging and investigating for ourselves.  We cannot have a personal relationship with God unless we personally do the work to establish that relationship.  

Finally, I will leave you with a controversial piece.  Our church's theme topic currently is on "Why?"  Why does the Bible matter?  Is it true?  Can we intelligently engage agnostics and atheists in debate?  I was given a  movie to watch by an acquaintance of mine.  He is a non-Christian.  However, he did not push it on me. I was interested in looking at it for myself.  One of the things our church has been talking about is reading the views of non-Christians and atheists.  This movie, "Zeitgeist", challenges Christianity at its core.  It compares Jesus to many other "prophets" or wise men from other religions (B.C) who were supposedly born on December 25th, born to a virgin, visited by 3 wise men, and were crucified and rose on the 3rd day. It then argues that the language in the Bible is astrologically symbolic.  The movie is long with only the beginning dedicated to debunking Christianity.  The rest deals with conspiracy theories on how the central bank and federal reserve control the US and have since its inception in 1913, enslaving Americans through its economic schemes.   

The following link will take you to Professor John Stackhouse's Blog where he provides an excellent critique to the movie, http://stackblog.wordpress.com/2008/06/13/zeitgeist-the-movie-the-new-chariots-of-the-gods/#more-148.  I obtained this link from Ravi Zacharias' ministry home page (http://www.rzim.org/USA/USFV/tabid/436/ArticleID/10172/CBModuleId/1561/Default.aspx) I believe we need not turn and run in fear of engaging people who oppose our views.  I do, however, believe that you must be strong in your faith to engage these arguments or you could easily be persuaded to "jump ship."  So, "work out your faith with fear and trembling" and stand firm in the knowledge of God and his ways.  Then and only then can we withstand the onslaught of many who come with creative and compelling arguments.  

Spiritual Pride

I don't know about you, but this is something I have to constantly keep at the forefront of my mind. I often say that whatever issue or problem I am facing, the answer usually comes in a very specific way. All that is required of me is to continue to be obedient and on the lookout for the answers.

For example, when I began writing this blog, I didn't know how or if or to whom I should be sending it. Especially when no one asked to have it sent to them. Personally, the one thing I detest most is unsolicited calls or knocks on my door from people trying to push a product. I thought to myself, 'These people have no interest in what you have to say' and 'they'll probably just delete it anyway.' I then had to ask myself several questions. Why am I writing this blog? What is its purpose? And, what kind of outcome do you expect from writing it?

Amazingly, or not so amazing if you see God at work in everything, I read something (very timely indeed) that went to the core of this issue. I will share some of it now. In Luke chapter 10, Jesus told his disciples, "Do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you." What? Well, Oswald Chambers believes, as I do, that worldliness and even sin (as one defines sin) are not the traps that most endanger Christians. He says, "The trap we fall into is extravagantly desiring spiritual success." Wow! What a smack in the face!

So, I then began to answer my own questions. Why am I writing this blog? I have been writing my thoughts on paper for over a year now. Yet, the writing that ends up on the paper is not from me. The reason I write is because I feel that I am moved to write by God. I always hated writing and still do for the most part. Yet, I can write with a passion about something I believe in. And the one thing with 100% certainty that I believe in today is God. He has carried me through the valley of the shadow of death. I also like to write about obesity and addiction because it is something I believe is very much interrelated. But, that's for another blog. So, I write this blog because I believe in God and feel moved by his Spirit to share his truth.

What is the purpose? The purpose of this blog is to point to God. Whatever I write is meant (or should be meant) to glorify him, not me. And, if anyone reading this believes that not to be the case, please point it out to me. I still need rebuking from time to time. I have always grappled with how to 'go out and make disciples.' We live in a very cynical, violent, and hurt world. And, my own fear has been that people would reject me! Did you get that last statement? Reject me! Well if it's all about God, then there should be no me in it in the first place. If I point to God and his truth, then there should be no fear of personal rejection. That fear is nothing more than pride and egoism in me. Like Rick Warren says in the first sentence of his book Purpose Driven Life, "It's not about me!" What a relief to know and truly accept that today. I'm just one among billions.

Finally, what kind of outcome do I expect from writing this blog? Chambers writes again, "One life totally devoted to God is of more value to Him than one hundred lives which have been simply been awakened by His Spirit." My intention is not to awaken anyone's spirit. Only God can save souls and stir spirits. I must remain a humble servant pointing to Him and let Him do all the work. I must decrease, so He can increase. When it becomes about any one person, then people are attracted to the person, not God. And that will result in real disappointment every single time. Trust me, don't go by anything I say or do because I am apt to disappoint you. Just ask my wife. Therefore, I don't feel like I'm coming to anyone like the salesperson I mentioned earlier. Why? Because the sales person has an agenda and its a me agenda. They point you to something alright, but it's to something that is fleeting, failing, and dying. And the product is sold to benefit the salesperson. I am trying to sell you something alright! I am trying to sell you on the God idea. When all else fails, God always is and remains and never forsakes. You don't need a warranty with this product and it is given, not sold, to benefit you. People tell me often that I must give back what has been freely given to me. Well, that is my intention.

C.S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity, "There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others." He called it the Great Sin, and that sin is Pride or Self-Conceit.

Therefore, I pray that I not fall into spiritual pride and I will rely upon you all to advise me if I do.

Disappointments

I began a personal journey over 5 years ago after moving to Cleveland. My wife and I had decided upon a church and readily became friends with many of its parishioners. Yet, what initially drew us to this church was the pastor. He had this magnetic spiritual appeal mixed in with an, 'I'm just as broken as you are attitude.'

My wife and I became very attached to this pastor. I personally was yearning to know and receive God's help at that time because I had just began my own journey in battling chemical dependency. I was broken, frail, and spiritually immature. Unfortunately, the pastor and his family returned to California after only serving 18 months at our church. I was devastated and extremely disappointed. I remember the painful moment I approached him in the church parking lot after he announced his coming departure. I was a complete mess and approached him in a very emotional way. As I approached him, he quickly, with his characteristic smile, said that he had to run and was in a hurry. The sting was real and painful. I had expected more from him and felt cheated. Where was my shepherd?

There was no anger involved, just deep sadness. Yet, I had failed to see or evaluate the issues he had going on in his own life because I was blinded by my own. It was at this time that I began to view things in a completely different way. I had completely ignored the fact that although a pastor, he is just as susceptible, if not more so, to trials and tribulations as me and any other lay parishioner. The adversary is out to get all of us, but especially the ones that are attempting to spread the word of God. I had been selfish and not respectful of his own personal situation. All I knew at the time is that I was hurting and I needed help. I was looking for a savior and a shepherd, but ended up looking in the wrong place. This experience taught me that we, as parishioners, must be careful not to put too many expectations on our church leaders. It taught me that they are human too and experience the troubles of this troubled world.

Oswald Chambers writes, "A servant of God must stand so very much alone that he never realizes he is alone. In the early stages of the Christian life, disappointments will come- people who used to be lights will flicker out, and those who used to stand with us will turn away." How true that is, yet in getting to this point of realization, we will undoubtedly have to experience the sting associated with putting too much faith in any one human being. These experiences are necessary to guide us toward a total and complete dependence upon God, and God alone. Chambers continues, "When "important" individuals go away we are sad, until we see that they are meant to go, so that only one thing is left for us to do- to look into the face of God for ourselves."

When the pastor of my church left, I was deeply saddened. Yet, it had to happen and it was meant to be. It was meant to be because God knew that I had been relying too heavily upon a person and not solely upon Him. That pastor was and still is a great man. He played a pivotal role in my personal Christian journey, transformation, and re-birth process. And to him, and people like him, may God continue to bless them in a way that brings millions more to Christ.

Freedom is NOW!

In the world we live, freedom is not a guarantee. In the United States, freedom has come at a cost, and usually a deadly cost through war and conflict.

However, in the spiritual realm, freedom is available, it's real, and it is powerful. Yet, too many of us are living our lives in a spiritually, emotionally,and psychologically self-imposed prison. We fail to see, because of our spiritual blindness, the level of freedom Jesus 0ffers us right now. There is no cost to us, except our willingness to be like a child and display a level of simpleness required to understand the ways of the Spirit.

The word simple used to conjure up negative feelings inside of me because, that must mean we are simple people with simple minds and simple ideas. And, that just won't do in this world of complexity, intellectualism, and individuality! However, I know today that response and view by me was the result of my pride and arrogance. I know today that you can still be intelligent and have a relationship with God and Jesus. I know from my own experience that you cannot combine intelligence with arrogance and false pride and expect a warm response by God.

I keep going back to Luke 19 and Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. I do, because the seed was planted by Andy Sikora, an associate pastor at Cuyahoga Valley Church during a sermon a couple of weeks ago. In that scene, Jesus rides into the city on a colt to fanfare and praise. However, Jesus weeps! Why? Because he, Jesus, knew that the people did not get the real meaning of his life and ministry. And, they were not going to get it before his crucifixion. "Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip?" This is what Jesus asked of his own disciple in John 14. If his own disciples were ignorant of who he was, then we must be careful to express spiritual pride in thinking we know him. Yet, we can know him through an attitude of unknowing. How? Through a childlike attitude that says the following, "Lord I yearn to know you, I thirst to know your ways every day, and that you will look favorably upon your wretched servant." The key is that we must never lose that passion and yearning to know Jesus, while at the same time admitting to ourselves we really don't know him. Because it's the ones who don't know that know and, well, the ones that know.......they really are clueless. This gets to the heart of humility and open-mindedness and honesty. In our natural lives we always put up a facade that gives an impression that is not congruent with what is really going on in our lives. We should be careful in doing that with God and Jesus because they already know.....they know us better than we know ourselves. We can act the saint in front of others, but we had better run home and cry out in utter ignorance that we know him completely.

Oswald Chambers writes the following in his book, 'My Utmost for His Highest.' "The mystery of God is not in what is going to be- it is now, though we look for it to be revealed in the future in some overwhelming, momentous event." This is why Jesus wept. We live our lives expecting some huge upheaval to take place that will liberate us from this sinful world. That is what the people of Jesus' day expected from him. Yet, God tells us that the freedom is here and it is now and it is not contingent upon Him doing miraculous things to be viewed in the natural world. The freedom comes when we become an empty vessel so that the Holy Spirit can take up shop. Freedom comes when we allow God the ability to perform miraculous things in the spiritual realm of our lives, miraculous things that can only be explained via the concept of numinous, not anything that can be detected by our physical senses.

He goes on to say, "We look for God to exhibit Himself to His children, but God only exhibits Himself in His children." There again, we must become childlike and display a level of simplicity that is a prerequisite for God to come in and give us the gift of the Spirit. And, we will be the last to know that we have become a spiritual person. That is the real acid test for whether or not you are spiritual! People will see it in you and define you as spiritual, not the other way around. We can never proclaim ourselves spiritual, for that precludes humility. And, humility is at the heart of spirituality.

May you all find the freedom that is available to you NOW!